Changing people's lives - by example

Dan didn't ignore the world's evil.

He just greeted it on his own terms

-- with a smile.

My husband’s dad was a gem. As mentioned in a previous post, he was a consistently happy man. He didn’t ignore the slings and arrows – the unkind, impatient, or evil things of the world. He just chose to meet the world on his own terms – upbeat and cheerfully, with a solid conviction in the inevitability of good.

His daughter Janeen and his wife Rachel recently held a celebration of his life on the West Coast for Dan’s friends and relations out there. They put a great deal of love and care into an interactive presentation that would speak to the hearts of his many friends.

In preparation, Janeen solicited memories by email, and they poured in. I’m told the celebration was a great success, with many people coming despite a major national sports event the same afternoon.

Here’s one of those memories that perfectly defines Dan. I hope you enjoy it. His (other) daughter-in-law wrote:

One time I was with Dan in his car. He was making a turn, and I think he was too far over in someone's driving lane. Well this guy does his angry beep, beep, beep da beep beeps. And then flips Dan the finger.

Dan put his hand up and out of the window, wiggled it in a very friendly like gesture, as if he were waving to a dear, long-lost friend. As we passed the other car, I noticed this guy had an angry, dumbfounded look on his face. Mine probably looked much the same. I exclaimed "Dan, didn't you see what he did ?"

Dan said, "Ooooooooooooooooooh yes, Randi dear." (As only Dan can say it.)

I was very confused and said "Dan, they gave you the finger!"

Dan said, "I know Randi dear, I was giving them all of mine."

So now if anyone flips me off. I just wave back at them with all my fingers and smile. It leaves them with their mouths hanging open, unsatisfied and quite confused. They think I did not get their message. I did, of course. I just prefer to give Dan's message back.

What a tribute to this man. Short of stature, he was big of heart. He never let others control his happiness. He lived a life of choosing to be happy. And by his example, Randi’s attitude towards adversity changed to one of taking charge!

And here is a little poem he liked. It’s simple message may help explain his perpetually cheerful outlook. The title is longer than the poem!

“Minimal Couplet for Praising God and Holding One's Own Joy,” by Neil Millar.

Just
Trust

That’s Dan. He forever trusted in the ultimate triumph of good.

Previous tribute to this happy man.

Why not expect good?

Who will stop

to admire this delicate beauty?

Have you ever looked right at someone you should have known, and not recognized that person? Perhaps you were in another state or another country and saw someone from home, but were slow to make the identity connection because you weren’t expecting to see him or her.

It happens.

The same animal trainer quoted in a recent blog tells of another horse, Pennies. This one was a hard-core bolter. Whenever anyone mounted him and asked him to move, he took off at a dead run.

Vicki Hearne understood how to communicate with Pennies, and showed him his innate dignity and graceful control of himself. As mentioned before, when his family came after a week to check on his progress, they did not even recognize the animal calmly trotting past them as their own.

It has to do with expectancy, doesn’t it? Even hope. They were looking for last week’s difficult horse. And they were not expecting their pet to be unruffled and composed, at least not so soon.

When we are trying to solve a difficulty - relationship, circumstance - are we expecting last week's obstinancy? Dare we hope for progress so soon?

You may remember the story where Jesus healed a blind beggar, and the man’s neighbors had a hard time recognizing him. Some asked, “Isn’t this the man who used to sit and beg?”

Others said, “No, but he does kind of resemble him.”

The former beggar joyfully exclaimed, “I am the man!” Jesus had showed him his wholeness.

The people mentioned here (horse trainer and Jesus) who initiated transformation were expecting good. And they saw the results of their expectations.

So we may well ask, Why shouldn’t we be expecting good? If we can agree that the creator of the universe is good, then good is real, natural, and present. And we don't have to feel helpless in the face of nasty politics, fragile economy, or personal wrestlings. Recognizing and valuing our own innate goodness we can to some degree often show others their goodness too.

Good is more prevalent than we realize. Just for fun, and by way of challenging the evening news, I made a quick list of good things I could think of just for this day. I stopped somewhere in the twenties, with a big smile, in order to continue writing this blog.

I highly recommend making such a list. It keeps life in proper perspective – where what’s innately right and excellent and cheerful in our lives is recognized as our present substance.

There is a God in the Post Office

This email has been making the rounds. And it is about unexpected kindness -- hearts speaking to hearts. This particular version arrived today, and the story follows:

This is one of the kindest things I've ever experienced. I have no way to know who sent it, but there is a beautiful soul working in the dead letter office of the US postal service.

Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:

Dear God,

Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.

I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her you will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.

Love, Meredith.

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, "To Meredith ," in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, "When a Pet Dies." Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:


Dear Meredith,

Abbey arrived safely in heaven.

Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.

Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.

Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.

I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much.

By the way, I'm easy to find, I am wherever there is love.

Love,
God

Finding the harmony within

The joy of

harmony on horseback

Animal trainer Vicki Hearne writes about her experience in restoring difficult horses, horses mistrained so badly their views on life and sometimes people have soured.

Her goal, if I understand her correctly, is to connect with the beauty and honesty the horses inherently know is true about themselves, but that has been buried by confusing signals from humans.

She explains her ability to adapt to the needs of a particular animal -- she knows how to meet each where it is.

Hearne describes a beautiful young mare who reacted murderously to sweet-talk and touching. So the woman had to find another way to communicate.

The form her respect and love (my term, not Hearne's) took was unorthodox, but communicated so clearly to the horse that in four days that same animal ambled up to a picnic table in the pasture and allowed a total stranger to scratch her neck.

Another family came after a week to check on the progress of their troubled horse. As they waited at the fence, they failed to recognize the docile animal loping along under saddle as theirs.

In her book, "Adam's Task," Hearne says, "As it happens, I never encountered a horse in whose soul there was no harmony to call on, though I have thought about giving up more than two or three times. I believe in such horses..." (P. 146)

At this point I'm going to make a huge leap that Hearne might not. That is to say that she was honoring the inner majesty and nobility of her client's animals, much as Christ Jesus showed his respect and love for the inner majesty and nobility of the sick, the scrabblers, and the sinners who crossed his path longing for their genuine life-purpose and life-meaning.

He saw God's man -- whole, useful, generous, caring, intelligent -- right where the rest of the world saw the lame and blind, lowlife and sinners. Where people were willing to connect with that good God who loved them, and discover their inseparability from this infinite goodness, there was healing and transformation.

Sometimes a blessing followed, "Go in peace." Occasionally a solution for making the transformation permanent followed, "Go and sin no more."

Eddy writes, "Whatever is governed by God, is never for an instant deprived of the light and might of intelligence and Life."

I believe Hearne works her transformations from the basis of this intelligence as a constant in her equine clients.

I believe Jesus also lived and healed from the basis of this Principle in his daily encounters.

You and I can find the spiritual intelligence from God active in our lives as well, that allows us to recognize and draw it out in others.

Managing big projects a step at a time

Step by step

kids learn the game

One morning about a month ago I walked into the local Park District field house and my friend Mark had his maintenance crew sweeping and vacuuming the floors between and under the bleacher seats. In the winter, they focus on indoor cleaning. This has to be done in the early morning hours, and it was instructive to observe.

The next week he was atop an indoor “cherry picker” dusting the blades of one of the oversize fans that hang from the ceiling. A huge pile of accumulated dust gathered on the floor beneath him. By the end of the week all six fans were clean and gently circulating the air.

After that Mark tackled the supports that hold the six basketball hoops. He dusted and washed them from the top supports near the ceiling, all the way down to the hoops themselves. By the week’s end, the supports gleamed as though they’d been given a coat of fresh black paint.

Next were the dividers – curtain-like pieces that unroll from the ceilings to separate three simultaeous volley ball games. And finally the crew gave the hardwood floor a thorough cleaning that removed most of the scuff marks that accumulate in an active field house. In six weeks time the place looked sparkling.

To make a little time and geography jump here, 2,000 years ago the people of Athens faithfully worshipped many gods, and to be sure none were left out, they even had an altar to the unknown God. Then Paul came along explaining this one ever-present, all-powerful good God. He said they lived in this God, moved in this God, had their very being in this God.

How would you deal with such a huge new concept? Perhaps one idea at a time. Much as Mark approached the winter field house cleaning – a huge project. Yet seeing the overview he broke it down into bite-size pieces, a few hours each morning. And the cleaning was accomplished in an orderly and harmonious way.

That’s a valid approach to life itself. Deal with the demands and requirements one step at a time.

If we aren’t ready to say that God doesn’t know evil at all, can we say at least that He is the source of all good? And begin to identify that good in our lives, and think about what it means that it might all come from one intelligent source?

And to think about being grateful for all that’s good and beautiful? These are first steps, and useful ones in a spiritual approach to life.

Shredding

Ever have to go through your papers and do some shredding?

That seems to be the way things are done these days. If you're through with a piece of paper that includes phone numbers or financial information, you shred it.

I'd been doing some email grumping to a friend about having spent recent hours shredding old documents.

She shot back, " 'Mind measures time according to the good that is unfolded.' So think in terms of good unfolding rather than time consumption."

She was referring to part of the definition of "Day" in "Science and Health" a book we both read along with the Bible as a guide for life. the author, Mary Baker Eddy, refers to Mind in this case as God. So my opportunity was to focus more on what this infinitely intelligent Mind was telling me than on the chore.

I really appreciated my friend setting me back on track. And had already reached the conclusion, while sorting through various papers, that to shred the past isn't a bad idea. To shred / dispose of / throw out what is no longer of value, is a good thing. To toss out of thought whatever has become heavy is a healthy thing.

We can come to terms with whatever burden lingers from the past, then let it go.

Like that monkey with his hand in the coconut grasping some unseen treasure, we can let go of the past, be free of the silly coconut, and get on with our lives.

Past good remains. It's constant, timeless, present to make us smile, because it originates in God, infinite good.

Twinkies and a generous heart

Someone sent this email story. It's a simple reminder that God can enter our lives in many ways when we are willing.

Although this encounter was clearly written about an earlier era when parents would not be alarmed if their children spent a day in the park with a stranger, the message is timeless. An honest act of generosity and acceptance can fill another's whole day with joy. And the blessing can, and should, be mutual.

A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six-pack of root beer and he started his journey.

Three blocks away, he met an old man sitting in the park, just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to him and opened his suitcase. He noticed the old man looking hungry, so he offered him a Twinkie. He gratefully accepted and smiled at the boy.

His smile so lit up his face that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered him a root beer. Again, the man smiled and the boy was delighted. They sat most of the day, smiling and eating, and never saying a word.

As the shadows lengthened, the boy realized it was getting late, and he needed to go home, so he got up to leave. But before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around and ran back to give the old man a hug. It was then that he received the biggest smile ever and felt the strongest, gentlest hug he'd ever received.

As he entered his home his mother asked, "What did you do today that makes you so happy? You're simply beaming!"

"I had lunch with God. You know what? He has the most beautiful smile I ever saw!"

Meanwhile, the old man was returning to his shelter, radiant with joy. Staffers noticed the look of peace and contentment on his face. "Where have you been; what have you done?" they asked.

And his answer was, "I ate Twinkies in the park with God. You know, he's much younger than I expected."

What is your song?

Playing her song

Have you ever thought of your life as the music God has composed for you to play?

So, what’s your song? Music performed by Elvis? Bon Jovi? Marty Stuart? Beethoven?

And what if we find ourselves humming a tune we don’t even like -- or a sad song -- or maybe the same old, tired refrain over and over? What then?

Three thousand years ago, a wise man wrote, “Sing unto the Lord a new song!” He recognized that the world’s songs don’t always fill us with joy and hope. He was ready for something with more substance.

God has given us each wonderful spiritual qualities, and our expression of these qualities is our music, the music God has given us to play.

Everyone’s expression of life should be unique. It may come out as folk music for me, rock and roll for you, country and western for a neighbor, jazz or classical for someone else – and it is all good. Whatever God has given us is excellent. How we play it is our own expression of that excellence.

Our decisions, the thoughts we choose to think, determine how we play our music. How much is stormy, how much is gentle, whether there are lovely duets or trios. How we sing or play – the timing, tempo, dynamics, and nuances – are our contribution to the world.

What about you? Are you ready for a new song? We find our identity, and therefore our special song, by looking to our source. We might call Soul the source of all that is beautiful and spontaneous and pure.

And if we say God, or Soul, is the composer of the music that is our lives, can we say Christ is the conductor? Christ -- that law of God that brings everything together for good and defines our being and purpose --interprets the music God has written. Christ cues individual players to confirm the timing of their entrance, their solo, their melody, or their countermelody. Christ brings everyone together at the right time for greatest blessing.

If we use an orchestra as an example, these musicians can look at their music, count the rests, and come in at exactly the right place. The music indicates how quickly or slowly to play the notes, how loudly or softly, even how to touch each note (legato or staccato). Dynamics, phrasing -- all the refinements the composer intended are written on the page.

In jazz, the musicians are more likely to play from sparse notations and improvise. They are so at one with the melodies and chord progressions that good singers, reed, brass, string, and keyboard players, can close their eyes and improvise marvelous solos.

In any musical group it is important to listen to the other musicians, hear what they are playing, and know when and how they come in, and also when they are silent. Thoughtful listening helps us discern better how our part fits into the whole score, the big picture.

Even so, we are not responsible for what somebody else is playing or not playing. We are responsible for playing our own music the very best we can. And if we are carefully listening, we might be able to help others find their place through the grace in our own lives.

Christ Jesus’ life showed how to play these vibrant life melodies. Scotsman Henry Drummond observed that Jesus spent a lot of his recorded life just going around being kind to people. Simply being kind to them.

Jesus expounded brotherly love in what we call his Sermon on the Mount. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. We can take the initiative in our relationships and be caring first.

Love expressed in kindness -- this is one of the genuine and magnificent pieces of music our lives are to play.

When the bricks fly

God whispers in your soul

This arrived in an email, and I had to chuckle.

“God whispers in your soul and speaks to your mind. Sometimes when you don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at you.”

Sometimes it does seem like that! I’ve had a few bricks lobbed my way.

Whether we feel we have a close relationship to God, or would like to, or are wondering whether that is possible, or even whether there is a God, sometimes it feels like circumstances smack us.

Whatever that event, it can be a “heads up!” – a kind of forceful invitation to listen through the hubbub of the day to another voice, another message, something more significant going on. A word or two from the Creator Him/Herself. An opportunity to turn discouragement around.

This comfort doesn’t come from the world. The world’s promises are fleeting. The other side of the world’s clamor a certain stillness speaks, a peace and clarity about what’s important in life.

And if we aren’t paying attention to what’s really important, we need to. And we need to want to.

The world’s great thinkers have come to the same conclusion over the centuries. Chirst Jesus, spokesperson for Christianity, says it this way, “Love one another.”

Love isn’t complicated, sophisticated, or accumulated. Love is complete, simple, and active. The love that springs from the Creator of the universe is dependable in a changeless way.

So when the world whacks us with injustice, or hate where we expected acceptance, listen up! Past the tumult there is a message of security, support, and progress. And often a new sense of direction.

The message that God loves us is what is worth listening to and pursuing. This hope can take us safely through injustice and hate. This promise brings us to the place of knowing good is supreme no matter what.

Being independent of time

Comfort doesn't take time

Greg pointed out recently that, "God is never in a hurry, but he is always on time."

I love it!

Truth is never in a hurry. It doesn't have to be. Truth doesn't have to rush anywhere to be true. That the earth is round it timelessly true. 9 x 9 = 81 is timelessly true.

Infinite Love is never in a hurry. It doesn't have to be. Ever-present love is always present. It is always in time and on time.

Have you ever rushed someplace because you were afraid of being late? Some of us go through life rushing here and there, and missing the beauty of life's journey.

The records we have of Christ Jesus' life indicate that he was never worried about being late. Even when others were anxious for him to come heal their crisis, and he was sometimes delayed, he arrived and restored health and purpose at the right time.

I'm visiting dear relatives in the peace and serenity of Wisconsin's north woods. The tempo is different with retirees -- it's relaxed. Double that for the north woods.

What I'm reminded of on this trip is to consider which things are important and why. The snowpacked roads are not salted, and if you rush around as though you lived in greater Chicago, you end up in a snowbank. The fresh sand spread in the morning gets worked into the road snow by mid-afternoon. Drivers simply slow down to a safe speed.

Speed is not important. Being somewhere an hour ago is not important. Impatience is just rude. Taking time to listen to people is important. Hearing their cares and their joys is important.

If God is ever-present good, and good is always present, its opposite cannot be at the same time in the same place. I'm willing to trust God to show me how this is true. And how I don't have to rush around to express the good purpose he has in mind.

My job is to move with the grace, kindness, and thoughtfulness that is independent of time -- whether in the northwoods or back at home.

New Year's snow frosting

Snow frosting

New Year’s eve brought a light and steady snow all night. Morning light revealed a kind of vanilla frosting on stalks, bushes, branches, evergreen boughs. Deciduous trees and other plants that will be magnificently adorned in summer have needed a touch of beauty to carry them through the embarrassment of having no leaves.

All things stark and skeletal suddenly have a two-inch layer of joyous white fluff.

Translating this lesson of nature for this New Year, why not take one thing that has been bare and unadorned in your life and give it a generous coating of love? Find what you can love about this dormant idea, and love it till it blossoms in the natural warmth of progress.

For me, at this moment, it’s people. People who, at first glance might appear unadorned, have been coming into my life with wonderful gifts of generosity, skill, kindness. I feel that through the message of the frosting, God has been showing me the beauty He/She knows and sees, and is saying, "Look at these pure and good hearts." And afterwards that’s how I see my new friends too.

In the Old Testament, the prophet Samuel had been told to go anoint a new king for Israel. He had been specifically directed to dine with Jesse, a prosperous man with many sons. At dinner Samuel looked at all the assembled handsome young men and made his own assessment about which one would be God’s chosen.

Each time he guessed and asked, "Is it this one?" God said, “No not this one.” Frustration set in. After all, Samuel was supposed to be a prophet; he wasn’t supposed to get it wrong.

The right candidate turned out to be the youngest son, David, who wasn’t even present at the meal. No wonder Samuel had a hard time.

I better understand now what God explained to Samuel, “The Lord sees not as man sees; for man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

The cheerful and temporary coating of snow is a reminder that central to each living thing is abundant beauty.

Love never loses sight of loveliness.
Its halo rests upon its object.
One marvels that a friend
can ever seem less than beautiful.

Mary Baker Eddy