Aug 26, 2007

Tender marriage of kindred hearts

I was privileged to be a guest at a very special wedding last week. Karen had been in my Sunday School class – years ago, it seems. Her beau, Ken, has done two tours in Iraq as a Marine. They are both in Military Chaplain training now, for the Army. The Army, it seems, is more family-friendly when assigning spouses, than are the Marines.

Rev. Dr. Julie Ruth Harley gave the best talk on marriage I’ve heard. She began with a joke. She has a couple in her congregation, she said, who have been married over 60 years, so she asked them, “What is the secret to a happy marriage?”

The husband replied, “The secret to a happy marriage is in two words,” long pause. (Those two words are,) "Yes, Dear.” Followed by much laughter.

Her talk focused on the give and take in marriage, the caring that permits compromise. Equal respect for both husband and wife. The love and attentiveness for one’s spouse that is not distracted by career, family, even children.

That when we say “Yes,” to wedding vows, we are saying “No” to other things. For instance, saying Yes to promising to honor one another, is saying “No” to any other intimate relationship.

When they were invited to kiss, Ken took Karen’s face gently in his hands and tenderly gave her a kiss.

The whole ceremony was tender, even the reception. When the maid of honor spoke of her friendship with Karen, she wept with emotion. When the groom’s sister spoke, her voice trembled with deep fondness for her brother and his new wife. When the bride’s brother spoke of his sister as an “amazing woman,” his voice halted; he teared up again as he praised his new brother-in-law. Most people were wiping their own eyes.

In Marine tradition, the Captain/husband (in dress uniform) sliced the wedding cake with his saber. They waltzed to “Edelweiss.” They actually knew how to waltz!

Maybe two tours in Iraq helps a man value a precious good woman when he finds her. Karen has the maturity to value her husband as deeply. We all wish them happiness and safety in their new lives together.

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Let the husband render unto the wife
due benevolence:
and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
Paul to the Corinthians (I Cor 7:3)


Matrimony should never be entered into
without a full recognition of its enduring obligations
on both sides.

Marriage should signify
a union of hearts

There should be the most tender solicitude
for each others happiness,
and mutual attention and approbation
should wait on all the years
of married life.
Mary Baker Eddy


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