Love isn't what we're in, it's something that we do

 Truly spoken.  This simple song takes love -- in marriage and every other relationship -- to a higher level.  Beyond, "What's in it for me?" to "What can I give to this relationship to keep it healthy and beautiful?"

One of the cool things about the Internet is that you can develop a network of like-minded friends, and you share ideas pretty freely.  Kate Robertson found Clint Black first.  If you would like to read her thoughts about these lyrics, click here. 

"The Gentle Art of Blessing"

The world, it appears, is full of caring people.  You’ll find them among your neighbors, your family, your colleagues, even strangers.

A friend told me recently that Pierre Pradervand’s book had changed her life.  I hadn’t even heard of Pierre Pradervand -- one of the world’s more public caring people.  A little Google research revealed that one of the delightful things about Pradervand is he does indeed walk his talk.

He can write about unconditional love because he lives it.  Apparently he has for some time.  I look forward to reading his book.

Here’s an appetizer, a challenge if you will, from a Youtube slide show:

“On passing people in the street, on the bus,
in places of work, and play, bless them.
The peace of your blessing will accompany them on their way
and the aura of its gentle fragrance will be a light to their path.
On meeting and talking to people, bless them in their health,
their work, their joy, their relationships to God, themselves, and others...”

You really need to see the whole seven minutes.


He has it right.  Love is the only thing that matters.

The norm is what we make it

A groomed cross country ski trail

Minoqua Winter Park

It was time to stop for gas on the way home from Wisconsin.  Also lunch. Somewhere north of the Illinois border, I found a Hardees.  I love their charcoal broiled hamburgers -- and haven't seen a Hardees in years.

The hamburger "to go" even had the wrapper thoughtfully turned back so you could eat without worrying about something dropping on your lap - the wrapper would catch the catsup or the crumbs.  Wonderfully simple and thoughtful touch.

I couldn't find the credit card slot at the nearby gas station.  Finally concluding there wasn't one, I filled my tank and went inside to pay.  The smiling clerk confirmed that paying is done inside -- after you have filled your car.

"Do you ever have anyone just drive away?"  I had to ask.

She paused, smiled, and "No."

It felt like another planet -- one where I'd like to live, where a sandwich presentation is thoughtfully designed to help the eater not make a mess, and gas stations trust total strangers.

Taking this feeling of joy and well being a step further, it was a glimpse of the Kingdom of God, I think -- where harmony, honesty, and thoughtfulness are the norm. 

Our lives -- an open book

This email has been around before; its message is ever timely.

His name is Tim. He has wild hair, wears a crumpled T-shirt, jeans with holes, and flip-flops. This was his wardrobe for his entire four years of college. He is bright, thoughtful, and a gentle guy.

Across the street from the campus is a well-coifed, very conservative church congregation. They want to develop a ministry to the students but are not sure how to go about it.

Enter Tim, clad in flip flops, jeans, T-shirt, and wild hair. The service has already started and so Tim starts down the aisle looking for a seat. The church is packed and he can't find a seat. By now,people are shifting uneasily, but no one says anything, and no one moves over to make a place for him.

Tim gets closer and closer to the pulpit. When he realizes there are no seats up front, he sits down in the aisle. Some smile, but most are uncomfortable with Tim's innocent break with tradition.

The minister sees peripherally, even while he is preaching, way from the back of the church, a deacon slowly making his way toward Tim. This deacon is in his eighties, sports dignified silver-gray hair, and a three-piece suit.

He's a godly man, elegant and courtly as he comes down the aisle. Everyone has pretty much tuned out the sermon, and is saying to themselves that you can't blame him for what he's going to do. How can you expect a man of his age and background to understand some college kid perched on the floor?

It takes an eternity for the man to reach the boy. His cane taps rhythmically as all eyes focus on him. The minister clears his throat and waits. And now this elderly Christian drops his cane on the floor. With some difficulty, he lowers himself and sits down next to Tim, smiles at him, and worships with him so he won't be alone.

The congregation is pretty much stunned, embarrassed, silent. Yet everyone begins to breathe again.

The minister sighs deeply, then says, "What I'm preaching today, you will probably not remember. What you have seen today, let's hope you will never forget."

Hmm. What if your life, and mine,
are the only Bible some people will ever read?

Two outstanding teens

Greely High School in Cumberland, Maine, boasts two outstanding basketball players. For eight or nine years Patrick Thibodeau, a Greely senior with Downs Syndrome, has practiced with the basketball team in the summer, and managed the drills during the season. He has kept the water bottles full. Yet he had never played in a game.

Patrick is one hero, and he rose to the occasion magnificently with two three-pointers!

The other outstanding teen in this story was in the starting line-up. Sam Thompson stepped aside to offer Patrick his spot. Interviewed after the game he said simply that Patrick came to every practice, worked hard, and deserved this opportunity.

Would that the media would bring to the world the many other seventeen year-olds who are also caring and generous.

The families in the bleachers also illustrated Greely's team spirit. After Patrick’s first basket, he was back on the bench with his teammates when, in the final moments, the fans – on both sides! – began clapping and calling his name. The coach put him in, and Patrick managed to deliver his second 3-pointer – at the buzzer. The fans were wild with happiness.

It was so much more than winning. That evening people were celebrating courage and unselfish caring. The media picked up on Patrick’s faithful service to the team all those years and also on Sam’s generosity.

Patrick had reached for the stars and touched them; everyone rejoiced with him. Sam Thompson had found something equally precious and a little more private – the gold in his own character.

There is no limit to the good unselfishness can do because it originates in the Mind of the universe, the infinite Love that reveals mankind’s innate goodness.

Here's something to ponder about unselfishness:
“Whatever holds human thought in line with unselfed love, receives directly the divine power.” (Mary Baker Eddy)

If you are really into basketball, a YouTube of Patrick’s highlights follows. Patrick's baskets are at the 1:46 and 3:47 marks. Patrick is Number 3.

Unusual friendship

Friendships. Ingredients include caring and respect and often affection. Here’s an unusual one.

As the closing comment says, “Listen up, world!”

Some things are better than winning

Rick Reilly's headline says, "There are some games when cheering for the other side feels better than winning."

This is a "feel good" story that happens to be good enough to be true.

I encourage you to Click Here for an uplift to your day.

Nail in the Fence Post

This email came along today, and its message of self-control is worth sharing.


There once was a little boy with a short temper and a wise and caring daddy.

So one day his Dad gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper he must hammer a nail deep into a 2x4 fence post. The first day the boy drove 37 nails into the post. He hit his thumb a few times too.

Over the next next few weeks he learned to control his anger, and the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled. He discovered it was pleasanter to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his dad about this achievement, and the father praised his success. Then he suggested that the boy now pull out one nail each day that he succeeded in not losing his temper.

This was not so easy to do, as some of the nails had gone in crooked or gotten bent over, or were pounded in so far it was difficult for the claw of the hammer to get a grip on the nailhead.

Months passed until the lad was finally able to tell his dad that all the nails had been removed. The dad praised him warmly. Then he took his son by the hand and they walked to the fence together.

They looked at the holes in the post. His dad said, "This fence post has a lot of holes in it. It will never be the same. When people say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this hole. Angry words can cut like a knife. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, someone has been wounded. A verbal wound can hurt as bad as a physical one.”

The book of Proverbs

confirms the value of self-control,

"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty.

He who rules his temper is greater than a conqueror."

Whither happiness?

The lottery winner screams with happiness. She is almost delirious. She has beaten the odds. However, at the winning moment she isn’t thinking about how family, neighbors, and others will suddenly jockey with each other to become her new best friends. Former lottery winners have found that their lives have indeed changed as a result, not always in the direction of carefree bliss they had expected.

The tendency is to assume that happiness comes from “things,” from getting what we want.

The advice to “Be careful what you wish for, because you might get it,” understands that happiness is not necessarily getting what we think we want. Getting what we think we want sometimes leads elsewhere.

True contentment, at least in my experience, comes from a quiet joy in our relationship to our Father-Mother God. If that Being is good, present, caring, and wholly Spirit, He/She is active and has no limitations. And that’s a rather interesting parentage.

Take Joseph, youngest son of Jacob, whose brothers were so jealous of him, they nearly killed him, but decided to turn a profit, and sold him into slavery instead. What gladness could possibly lie ahead? Suddenly there was no one who loved or cared about him, no parents to guide and protect him.

But wait. Is there a Father-Mother God guiding him, if Joseph just asks for that guiding?

The Bible story doesn’t specifically tell us Joseph was happy, but it shows him in a productive life of service in Egypt. First he served in Potiphar’s household in a position of trust and authority. Later he served Pharaoh in a position of even greater authority, saving Egypt and its neighbors from mass starvation.

Helping those less fortunate

The clue is “service.” When I worked in a nursing facility years ago, I discovered it was fun to be on duty on the holidays – Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, etc. It was totally satisfying to bring special joy and cheer to clients on these days when often they did not have family coming to see them.

Happiness isn’t selfish. Happiness is spiritual and it’s found in service. Selfishness may deceive us for awhile, but eventually we discover that self-serving is out of sync with the laws of the universe.

Some say we are hard-wired to be happy when we are able to contribute to making others happy, to feel that our lives are somehow making the world a better place.

It does seem to be human nature, hard-wired or otherwise, to discover meaning and purpose through unselfish caring.

Interrelatedness

Monet-like quality in the Koi pond

The perfect autumn afternoon beckoned, and the boys were reluctant to come. Their dad’s office party was happening at their home, and they were curious to see who would be coming, and what might be happening.

That party was precisely the reason we were leaving, so the grown-ups could have their grown-up party.

We picked up Les on our way to the Wildlife Rehabilitation Center in Glen Ellyn. She instantly and cheerfully improved the ratio to one-to-one, one boy to one adult.

The grandsons are city boys, so I look for opportunities to introduce them to nature and to the creatures who live in the forests and fields.

We saw animals that wouldn’t be released due to injuries that would prevent their successful hunting – golden eagles, bald eagles, red-tailed hawks, peregrine falcons, barn owls, great-horned owls, a bobcat, raccoons, and foxes –in large circular cages carefully furnished with various-sized branches and box-like structures for dens.

Red-tail hawk on an outing

The boys were keenly interested in the young woman volunteer sporting a magnificent red-tail hawk on her gloved arm. She answered their questions with skill and respect for the wild bird on her glove.

Why this treasure in the middle of suburbia? Someone had the vision to save the forests – at least parts of them. What a gift these green expanses are to us, our children and grandchildren.

I am gleaning from that afternoon that everything fits together as ideas in one universal Mind. Not as wounded, recovering, or impaired animals, but each one a spiritual idea already complete in Mind.

There were glimpses of everything related – the foresight for establishing Forest Preserves, the dedication to create and fund the Center, the people who staff it, volunteers who serve, public who come to learn; a sense of peace, order, and beauty, hope and caring.

These are spiritual qualities, natural to all mankind. We had our own party, our celebration of creatures special and wonderful.

How to live - concisely

Live simply

Someone sent an email, and these words were tucked away at the bottom:

Live simply
Love generously
Care deeply
Speak kindly
Leave the rest to God.

There's a lot of wisdom here.

To live simply is to not be possessed by our possessions.

To live generously is to share good freely.

To care deeply is to be where we are needed, and to know when silent comfort may mean more than words.

To speak kindly is to love enough to curb sharp words and replace them with encouragement.

If we do this, we will be good Christians, good Jews, good Muslims, good agnostics even. This is because while people look at physical attributes, God looks into our hearts, finds the good there, and strengthens it.

It sheds another dimension on the above advice to take your favorite concept of God -- such as Truth, Love, Allah, Higher Power, Light, Source of all goodness, Creator -- and substitute that term for God.

Such as, "Live simply. . . and leave the rest to Truth."

Hope for world peace

Mother love is where you find it

This YouTube clip shows an unusual bonding between a crow and a homeless kitten.

The crow feeds and cares for the kitten, and they remain friends long after the kitten is eating on its own.



In Christian and Jewish writings, Isaiah the prophet brings predator and prey together in safety. Some 2,500 years ago, he foresaw a lion lying down peacefully with a lamb.

Many people have dogs and cats that live and play happily together.

If peace, caring and friendship can evolve so unexpectedly, this gives me greater hope for world peace.

Making a difference

“I challenge you to think about what it means to be significant. Success is about your own achievements. Significance is about what you do for others.” Eboo Patel, founder and executive director of Interfaith Youth Core, Chicago.

Patel's Youth Core helps young people make a significant difference in their communities and in the world.

This was a new concept for me. Success is about self; significance is about others.

The world is full of heroes. The real heroes are usually not those in positions of power -- not the presidents, the kings, or the generals. The real heroes are those who have forgotten self in serving others.

Think Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Mother Theresa. The disciple Judas was successful, but the man he betrayed has been significant through centuries.

Twentieth century American reformer Mary Baker Eddy knew how to make a genuine difference. “Forget self," she wrote, "in laboring for mankind.”

-----------------------------------------------

Is it easier to be successful or significant?

Who do you know, or know of, who has made a difference in the lives of others?

Click here and give your two cents worth!

Brief example of how the Youth Core makes a difference.

Panning for gold

Modern gold rush

Apparently people are panning for gold once again in the American west. Books like the one above are popular. The 49ers of 159 years ago created a brief and wild era as people from all walks of life tried to make their fortunes by panning for gold.

A few became wealthy; most were disappointed and resumed their lives wiser, if poorer, for their efforts.

Most folks regard the past with mixed feelings. Unhappy events make a greater impression than happy times and have a way, if given free rein, of monopolizing memory.

Bad, distressing, or unhappy past events should not be given free rein. For nearly everyone there is also good in the past, and it’s important to identify that good – because good is timeless.

John Greenleaf Whittier wrote, “All of good the past has had remains to make our own time glad. . . God’s love and blessing then and there, are now and here and everywhere.”

It’s a bit like panning for gold. As I understand it, you stand in or next to a shallow river and put a scoop of water, sand, and gravel into your sieve. The water washes away any muck, and in the remaining sediment miners hope to find some bright flecks of gold. It is relatively easy to remove the gold, and toss away the sediment.

So when we have occasion to pan our memories in the river of life, let’s be alert for those small bright flecks of goodness. Gently remove them, place them carefully where they won’t get lost, and throw out the sediment of unhappiness.

This doesn’t mean ignoring evil, or not coming to terms with abuse. It does mean that in spite of difficult times, goodness in some form was present and needs to be identified and celebrated in the present.

I remember reading an emotionally difficult autobiography of a man badly abused by a mentally ill mother. As a little boy he barely escaped her attempts to kill him. Finally a teacher at school recognized the signs of physical abuse and rescued the child – decades before teachers were taught how to look for abuse in their classrooms.

That teacher was a gold nugget in this boy’s tragic childhood.

The youngster overcame the effects of terrible cruelty and, as an adult, helps other children recover from abusive situations.

Every fleck of goodness adds to the substance of good in our lives. They help us live in and appreciate the “now” of God’s love.

And where is YOUR head?

A coach explains his strategy

Saturday was the last second-grade basketball game of the season. Two little guys on our park district team stood out as fairly aggressive players. Their focus was surprising for 7 or 8-year olds. The mom of one of these kids was sitting next to me.

When I complimented her on Johnny’s ability to see where the ball was headed and get there first, she replied frankly, “Yes, he really has his head in the game.”

That was a new phrase for me, someone who “really has his head in the game.” Some of the tykes are less into that focus, and their efforts are more timid and uncertain.

Another life lesson? What might be some applications? OK, for one thing I’m learning to appreciate drivers who are not holding cell phones to their ears, who perhaps really do have “their heads into their driving.”

I’m learning to appreciate the cashiers at Trader Joe's who “have their heads’ into customer service, and do their part to make paying for the groceries a pleasant experience.

Mary Baker Eddy, who wrote the manual on spiritual healing, concluded, “The devotion of thought to an honest achievement makes the achievement possible.” Eddy was a writer, publisher, editor, preacher, healer, teacher, manager, employer. She knew whereof she spoke.

We see the results of dedication not only in sports, but in civil rights, in writers, dancers, musicians, in invention and in healing.

We can devote our best to whatever we are doing, keeping our heads in the task, or the game, of whatever we have been given to do.

The universal language of kindness

The scratching post

“Kindness is a language we all understand
Even the blind can see it

and the deaf can hear it.” Mother Theresa

And animals understand it.

Kindness is so needed, and sometimes seems so understocked in the world’s inventory. Yet each of us has the ability to multiply the supply!

I hope this simple example doesn’t sound too trivial.

I recently took my cat to have his claws clipped. Although he tries to cooperate and uses his scratching post regularly, sometimes when his claws grow out, he forgets and stretches them on the carpet. After this happens a couple of times, he goes to Victoria for a clipping.

The grooming room at the back of her house can be a cacophony – clippers buzzing, a small pooch yipping for attention, her shop vac inhaling clippings from the floor.

Buster clung to the sides of his carrier defying gravity as I tried to pour him onto the grooming table. So I released the knobs that allow you to separate the top from the bottom of the carrier and picked him up.

We stepped back as Victoria vacuumed poodle fur from the floor. Clinging to me like Velcro, Buster wasn’t about to let go of his one security in that room.

"Oh, you don't have to put him down," she said. Victoria finished her vacuuming, came right over to the frightened feline, gently lifted each paw from my jacket and clipped his nails. In 30 seconds he was done, and back inside what he considered the safety of his carrier.

Afterwards I thought a lot about her kindness to an infrequent cat client. Kindness comes from the heart. In giving kindness, we don’t lose anything; we increase the world’s inventory and improve our own.

I believe God put kindness into each of us as an essential ingredient of our character.

Yet for some of us, acting on our caring seems to come more naturally than to others. Sometimes harsh circumstances bury individual goodness for awhile, maybe for years. But it is God’s design for mankind to express goodness and caring. And being the recipient of thoughtfulness serves to remind us that that’s our nature too.

This, I think, is the secret of kindness:

We see eye to eye and know as we are known,
reciprocate kindness and work wisely,
in proportion as we love.
Mary Baker Eddy

Not in proportion as we are loved, but in proportion as we give love to our world. When we need help, a loving God shows us how to discover this love and share it.

Does God have a sense of humor?

Does God have a sense of humor? For sure. How do I know? Because He/She makes me laugh all the time.

For example: driving in Chicago had not been my favorite thing – and, please note, I am putting that in past tense – primarily because city parking has often been a challenge.

I had registered for what promised to be a most interesting program – Hidden Treasures: The voices of women in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam – hosted in downtown Chicago.

So, in my desire to support all things good and womanly, I looked for someone to come along, another set of eyes for locating a parking space. Plenty of interest in the topic, but no takers who were also registered for the event.

I prayed about my reluctance because I was tempted not to go. And the answer that came was Yes, go.

So I just gave it all to God. Something like, “God, since you want me to be part of this gathering tonight, I know you will take me all the way. You would not tell me to go and not provide parking.” I guess this mostly reassured me that I needed to quit grumbling and totally trust that higher power.

My Mapquest route favoring major expressways looked less promising as traffic crawled out of Chicago on the Stevenson – which to my mind should have been uncrowded on a Sunday afternoon.

The idea came to exit on Cermak and take local streets to the church where the event was being held. I had to trust that intuition, because leaving known highways for unknown side streets was pushing me out of my comfort zone.

Exiting the expressway turned out to be an excellent plan. I had to smile while thanking God, who I think of as one infinitely good Mind. When I reached the little residential street where the host church was located, you can imagine my total amazement to see men in orange reflective vests – helping people locate parking spaces on that street!

I was grinning from ear to ear. It was as if the Father (another name for God that’s meaningful to me) was saying, “So, you want help finding parking? Here they are, in bright orange vests!”

“OK, dear Father-Mother, I get it, I’m a believer! Thank you SO much for this sweet gift.”

God's love is expressed in joy and good humor that never puts anyone down, but thoughtfully or spontaneously lets us know God is with us, loving, guiding, rescuing us.

Doing the right thing

Chicago transportation - many alternatives

Today I attended an all-day seminar on “The Social Media Revolution.” Very cool insights on the role of blogs and podcasts within an organization.

But that’s not what this piece is about. This is about doing the right things.

I had learned through an email that Bill was signed up for this seminar too and, amazingly, he lives not far from me. I don’t get excited about driving into Chicago, especially during rush hours. Bill had received the same email, so, "Aha," I thought, "Perhaps he’ll offer to drive."

He didn’t. Two days before the meeting it occurred to me to offer him a ride (and then maybe he would offer to drive). Since I’m trying really hard to listen to what I call “angel messages,” those intuitions from God that guide us safely and wisely, I emailed Bill and offered to pick him up.

He accepted – but did not offer to drive. In fact, he needed a ride. It turns out that he is very familiar with side streets into and out of Chicago, and he had a great route for us that avoided the gridlock of the expressways. Because of his newspaper writing background, he shared a wealth of Chicago history unknown to most folks.

He also told me about parking at Midway Airport's CTA lot and taking the Orange line into the city – something he has done often. I was grateful to learn about this practical alternative.

From time to time I’ve noticed that God helps me do the right things – in this case taking the initiative to offer Bill a ride -- in spite of my own line of (well, yes, sometimes self-centered) reasoning.

Speaking of doing right things, I remember hearing how my grandfather came upon a car accident beside the road. Think 1930s. He stopped to help and discovered someone pinned underneath. He should not have been able to physically do this, but Walter was able to lift the car, so the injured person could be pulled to safety.

As I see it, there’s a lot God can do with an honest heart.

Do not forget that an honest, wise zeal,
a lowly, triumphant trust, a true heart,
and a helping hand constitute man,
and nothing less is man or woman.
Mary Baker Eddy

Most excellent fun

Wrestling cats demonstrate headlock

Playing is important. Experts in social behavior believe play in both humans and animals helps the young learn social responses that allow them to grow into thoughtful, balanced, well-adjusted adults.

Play is a happy time of interaction with no purposeful result. At it's best, it is taking part and engaging in spontaneous fun.

I have two cats. Buster has grown in just a year to be considerably bigger than his sister. He soon discovered he could easily overpower Bibs. He would decisively win their tussles, and she would run off and hide. Eventually Buster realized that although he had won the wrestling match, he had lost a playmate.

Over time he has learned to play more gently. They engage in sparring more often, chasing each other through the house. Sometimes he lets Bibs win a little.

Life is about adapting and compromising to achieve more important social goals. This is not timidity that lets another walk all over you. Rather it is self-worth that is so founded on the conviction of a loving Father-Mother good cherishing and maintaining us, that selfishness is quenched by a generous spirit.

The following most amazing video link shows the naturalness of the spirit of play. Having gentle fun for the sake of having gentle fun.

You shouldn't need to click anything after this link. Please be patient while the video loads.

http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/play/audiogallery/soundseen.shtml

Talking with the animals

Snack time

Communication involves listening more than anything else.

While hiking in Colorado with friends this summer, we were followed out of the tree-line by a gang of three jay-sized birds. They seemed particularly interested in us, so I took a piece of crust from my sandwich, and held it in my outstretched palm. Instantly a jay lit on my hand, took the crumb, paused - perhaps to say thanks, and flew back to the pines.

Without knowing that these (later identified as) gray jays have a rep as “camp robbers,” there was communication. I had understood that if we offered something, they would respond.

Even better, a friend from New Hampshire, seeing that photo, emailed her own bird experiences. “A few years ago I was able to rescue a tiny hummingbird and got to nestle him and let him know he was just fine until he flew off.”

Jen prays about everything, and I know her well enough to know that with this “nestling” she was affirming his unbroken link with his Creator, that his Life was constant, uninterrupted, and that this little idea had an important role to fulfill in Life’s plan.

Jen added, “Just last year when we were screening in our porch, a nuthatch flew in after we had gone into lunch. Evidently he was stunned and wasn't able to find his way out. I picked him up and talked with him while I carried him outside, and do you think the little guy would leave my hand and arm that he was exploring? No, so I had to help him off onto one of the bird feeders.

“A short time after that I was watering one of the hanging plants and lo and behold (I'm sure it was the same little guy) he landed on the plant not 12" from my face and ‘talked’ to me! It was amazing, and I think he was just saying thank you!!”

When the heart speaks,
however simple the words,
its language is always acceptable
to those who have hearts.
Mary Baker Eddy

See fellow bloggers:
Squirrel rescue /Scroll to September 12
Hummingbird communication