Burnt biscuits

The following arrived in an email.  It's such a good reminder to appreciate the broader good.  Love, forgiveness, and gratitude go a long way towards maintaining good relationships.

 When I was a kid, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.

On that evening so long ago, my Mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned  biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!

  After I got up from the table that evening, I heard Mom apologize to Dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!"

 
So my prayer for you today is that you will learn to take the
 good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God.  Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!

Harmonica in Carnegie Hall

Focus, dedication, and practice.

One happy man shares his talent in Carnegie Hall.

Flash mob surprise

It's been fun to watch the evolution of flash mobs -- yes there is a name for them now -- these talented groups that appear to be so spontaneous.  

They sing and dance and delight people in the most unlikely places -- and then disappear.   Events such as "Doe a Deer" at the Antwerp train station, or the T-mobile dance at the Liverpool Street Station.  

Now, in keeping with the season, we have the "Hallelujah Chorus" in a mall food court!  (I'm guessing America for this one.)

My poem for Thanksgiving, 2010.

Thanks-living

Thank you Mother-Father for your gifts:
Friends and fellowship,
vitality and kindness.

Your tough love wants
action as thanks.
No shallow living here!

Life, You say, isn’t cumulative.
Isn’t “He who, at the end, has the most toys wins.”
Life is giving. 
Generously.

Existing asks, “How much do I have?”
Living asks, “How can I help?”

Jonah's story -- like you have never heard it before

Perhaps you believe Jonah is a story told for the value of the lessons -- that we need to obey what God is asking us to do; that you can run, but you can't hide; that deciding how God should punish our enemies just doesn't work.  Or perhaps you are a literal believer word-for-word.

Either way, here's a rendition that draws the listener in with a smile.

Actions of thanks

Kindness is like the sun breaking through the clouds.

"Accion de Gracias."  This is Spanish for Thanksgiving.

Don’t you love that first word, which translates as “action”?   Literally it reads “Action of Thanks.”

What a great way to celebrate Thanksgiving -- with actions.

Even though times may be tough, there is always something to be grateful for.  Maybe you have a friend, a spouse, or children who love you; or a dog or cat or a bird who loves you.  Maybe you can count on three meals a day and a roof over your head.  Maybe you have a job.  

Maybe you have an opportunity to set things right in a relationship. 

Here are some possible actions of gratitude:  A phone call to let someone know you care about them, or an email for the same reason.  Maybe a card or a letter -- sent the old fashioned way!   Your time given can be a precious gift.

How many ways can you find of to express your thanks through actions this coming week?

Run your own race

In the movie, "Secretariat," the big horse was facing the third race of the 1973 Triple Crown.  He had won the Derby, won the Preakness, and was facing the most grueling of the three, the Belmont -- one and one half miles of dirt track.

His intuitive trainer, Lucien Lauren, had a tough decision to make.  Common wisdom said to let the horse rest between the Preakness and the Belmont.  This approach made sense.  But Lucien and Secretariat’s owner both knew how the horse loved to run.  He was not a common racehorse.  They agreed he should be allowed to run his own race.  And so, contrary to common wisdom, they let him work out between the races.

On race day, Secretariat and his closest competition, another fine athlete, Sham, broke from the gate at the head of the pack and continued neck and neck.  Until Secretariat began pulling ahead.  The announcer said something like, “Secretariat ahead by a neck... by a length, by two lengths... by 11 lengths... by 20 lengths.”  The big red horse won that race by 32 lengths.  No one has seen anything like it before or since.

May I be clear at this point that I am not advocating horse racing or dog racing.  These have become cruel industries.  But that's another story for someone else to write.

Here now, for a spiritual take on Secretariat's triumph: we are all running our own races.  Each of us has a different race to run.  The lengths, locations, and conditions vary.  Some are glitzy like the Derby.  Some are grueling like the Belmont.  Supporters may or may not be there to cheer us to the finish line.

Unlike most racing, we're not competing with anyone else. The point for us is not whether we come in first, second, or last, but that we finish the race before us the best we know how. 

We can trust that our loving Mother-Father God has given us exactly what we need to praise Her in the race of this moment.  Love, honesty, intelligence, and a willing heart make a good start.

Rules of Life - as lived by a friend

In 2002 I worked on temporary assignment for a crackerjack manager.  She was bright, funny, effective.

Our team worked long hours together.  She was the one who took responsibility for solving problems and finding solutions.  By the way she lived, she taught wonderful life-lessons.  I wrote them down one day before the assignment ended.  Here’s what flowed from my fingers to the keyboard. 

• If it’s at all important, pray first.
• Pray first, Pray often.  Pray always. 
• If something doesn’t feel quite right, pause, step back.  Don’t proceed with anything that feels mushy.  Pray about it.
• Act on your intuitions.
• Be quick in obeying your highest sense of right.  If a direction or a conversation suddenly seems not quite right, don’t ignore that intuition.  Take control and move graciously in a right direction.
• Praise first, praise often, praise generously, praise exuberantly.  Praise whenever you can.  Find the good, and build on that.
• Support your team consistently. Publicly praise individuals.  Privately discuss needed improvements.
• Recognize incursion of evil and don’t tolerate it.
• Forgive and forget.  Move forward.
• Recognize your own shortcomings.  Be willing to apologize.
• Have fun.  Be fun.  Laugh often.  Laugh rather than cry.
• Laugh at yourself a lot.  Keep your jokes gentle.  Never joke, even a little, at someone else’s expense.  Use clever wit that uplifts.
• Keep your joy spontaneous.  Expect good from every direction.  Deny evil power, presence, activity.
• When you’ve worked long and hard all day, take a break.  Put on some good music and dance!
• Pray before speaking.  Keep your tongue a servant to kindness.
• Don't criticize.  Pray for the right wording to present criticism in a constructive way, so that it doesn’t even sound like criticism.
• Don’t personalize evil ever.
• Don’t argue.  Either contribute a constructive idea (perhaps through a carefully crafted question), or be quiet and pray.
• Keep your goals in focus.  Recognize and resist distractions.  Tangents, even worthy ones, are time-wasters if they do not immediately support the goal at hand.  Move them to another time, or eliminate them.
• Be willing to help.  Also see clearly when appropriate help lies in another direction, and point that direction.  Be firm on not getting involved when it is inappropriate.
• Don’t be wishy-washy.  Make your best decision at the time.  Be flexible and willing to change direction as new information comes to light.
• Go for the big picture.  Comprehending the big picture helps you make intelligent decisions.
• Be thorough in a project.  Pay attention to detail.  Every detail.  Assume nothing.
• Don’t get into the dream.  Life is not a burden, but a joy.  If you feel a burden you are in the dream.  Get out of the dream.  Refuse to be part of somebody else’s dream.
• Don't react even when reaction seems justified.  Stay quiet and pray   Find God’s power and strength.  You don’t always have to say something.  Your strength may be in active silence, in letting others feel you have listened.
• Stay humble by staying close to divine Love.

Rules of Life -- as dogs would write them

This delightful text came in a forwarded email -- author unknown.

Live simply. 



Love generously. 



Care deeply. 



Speak kindly.

Smile because you’re happy.



When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. 



Remember to play!

Run, romp, and play daily. 

Never pass up the opportunity to encourage your friends. 



Relish the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face.



When you take a nap, stretch before rising. 



Thrive on attention -- giving and receiving -- and let people touch you. 



Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. 



When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body. 



Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Always be ready to make new friends.



Be loyal. 



Never pretend to be something you're not.

 

If what you want lies buried, 
dig until you find it. 



When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

Enjoy now!



Time for a little listen

“Grandma,” my very tall 11-year old grandson instructed patiently, “Put your fingers over the laces, like this.”  We were having a lesson in how to throw a football. 

“That’s right,” he said encouragingly.   “But your pinky doesn’t need to be way out there.  Keep your pinky closer to your other fingers.  Like this.”  I studied his eyes to see if he was making a little joke.  He wasn’t.  Those eyes, a little taller than mine, were quite earnest.  So even though it amused me greatly to hear where to place my pinky on a football, my expression remained serious and attentive.

I resisted the impulse to gather him in a great hug and tell him how wonderful he is to honor me with football throwing instructions. 

I am learning to bless these grandsons and nearly everybody who comes into my experience more consistently.  By that I mean I am learning to pray better for and about them.

For instance a couple of weeks ago the two boys and I were having dinner, and they started provoking and insulting each other and paying no attention to anything I said to diffuse the escalating taunting.

I sat back and mentally withdrew from the verbal chaos to have a little listen with God.  It was important to hear what She knew about these kids.  Right there, right then, I could honor their goodness, their intelligence, their caring, their respectfulness -- qualities that seemed to be missing.

Suddenly it was quiet.  The conversation changed, and that was the end of the nastiness.

 The transformed atmosphere startled me into gratitude and an awareness that my thoughts, more than my words, were what mattered.  They hadn’t heard my words, but they responded to recognition of their true nature as God knew them.

Just as that boy placed my fingers where they belonged to make a decent throw, so a loving God places each of us where we are intended to be a blessing.  And She insists that we be that blessing.

Six-second run for life

Elk delights tourists - Rocky Mountain National park

Chicago outskirts.  Sunday afternoon.  Driving north on I-294.  

Suddenly from some brush on the right, a deer leaps onto the highway and dashes across.  We’re talking eight lanes of divided expressway.  

Clearing the center divide without a pause, she heads into Russian Roulette.  No words come, but my heart goes out in prayer.  The three additional lanes of very fast traffic coming up behind the semi that she darts in front of do not know she will be racing across their lanes. 

Yet in another instant she is intact in the brush on the far side and heading for forest.  As the doe reaches safety, a van in the next lane nearly swerves into my car.  The driver waves apologetically, shaking his head in amazement at what we have just seen.

No accidents, no one hurt, no damage.  And several pretty startled drivers.

Many people will say, “That was one lucky deer.”  My take is that I was privileged to witness that tragedy is not inevitable.  That deer-killed-on-highways statistics are not law.  That the Creator of the universe has established spiritual laws of harmony and they do govern.  Rather than being persuaded that crises are normal and unavoidable, we can and should expect to see this law of harmony in action.

When is it OK to disagree?

I recently saw the movie, “Whip It.”

I'm pretty particular about time invested in a movie.  It needs to have a constructive message and, for awhile, this one was iffy.  The teen, Bliss, was lying to her parents, and lying about her age to her new friends in the brutal contact sport of roller derby, and generally making decisions that were leading to unhappy results.

The redemption came when, after bitter words with her parents, Bliss left home.  The women on her racing team were older and tough; yet one of her new friends took her in, offering this kindly advice, “It sounds like you’re being selfish in your relationship with your mom.  If my son lied to me the way you lied to your parents, he wouldn't run away because I'd break his legs.

Turning to her little boy, she smiled warmly, "Just joking!"

Back to Bliss, "Just because you have a new family (with me and my son) doesn’t mean you should leave your old family.” 

Bliss’s indiscretions had also gotten her best friend arrested for underage drinking, followed by her new boyfriend cheating on her.  Bliss returned home sad and wiser.
 
Genuine love in the family allowed space for Bliss and her parents to talk and listen to one another, and move forward.  Everyone struggled to, and did, rise to the occasion. 

What I took away is the important message that unselfish love makes a solid basis for relationships.  It creates space for apology, repentance, and forgiveness.  When all the elements are there, love supports moving past mistakes into stronger relationships. 

A friend once told me, "It's all right to disagree, if we disagree in love."   I think "Whip it" reached that conclusion.

Love isn't what we're in, it's something that we do

 Truly spoken.  This simple song takes love -- in marriage and every other relationship -- to a higher level.  Beyond, "What's in it for me?" to "What can I give to this relationship to keep it healthy and beautiful?"

One of the cool things about the Internet is that you can develop a network of like-minded friends, and you share ideas pretty freely.  Kate Robertson found Clint Black first.  If you would like to read her thoughts about these lyrics, click here.